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07:51pm 18/05/2008
mood: that's pants.
Restructuring my friends list, guys. I lost all of my internet settings. I had everything bookmarked carefully because my friend's page was a little wordy.

Coming back to it without my bookmarks, I realize that over half of it is journals of people I don't actually know and have never met in person, but are the friend of a friend or soemthing, and I have to scroll through page after page to find anyone i know..

Others are journals the owner has not posted to in over 3 years. It's time to do some housecleaning. Please bear with me while I go through everything and re-establish what's what and who's who and whatnot.
08:59pm 28/12/2007
  Hey guys, heads up. Because I've been posting a lot of personal info on my lj lately, and because I cuss a lot and this makes me inappropriate reading for minors, I've made my lj friends only so it can't be viewed by search engines or lj user under the age of 14.

Not that anybody other than my friends reads this, and I'm pretty sure half my friends list isn't on lj anymore. eh. It's just a precaution

So it won't display unless peeps are logged in.


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crazy in the coconut   
08:11am 09/12/2007
  Whose brilliant idea was it to let it get down to 20 degrees F last night? huh?!  whose?! especially without snow. It's not even a pretty 20 degrees.

I had a dream last night that I was was wandering around the islands of Bali and Java, and there were no 20 degree mornings. It was very pleasant.

There was, however, a tsunami. I have a lot of tsunami dreams.

I will be standing somewhere watching these monstrous waves approach, ready to crush and drown everything in their path, including me, and I am filled with excitement and awe, but not fear.

I wonder what that means.
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Pancho & Lefty   
09:30pm 08/12/2007
  So tired...

Had class all day today, 8am  - 6pm. Sick most of the day, too, just not in as hot of shape as I thought I was... Shit.

Haven't had the energy to do anything but sit here, stare into space, and listen to Willie Nelson albums.

He may not rock, but, you know, you just gotta love a Texan who sings about transgendered cowboys, is funding a movement to convert truckstops to biodiesel-fueling centers,  covers Cyndi Lauper hits, has had half his catalog banned from corporate radio, and can make a bong out of anything.

Seriously, after all of these years on the road, I bet he's like, a really forgetful MacGyver.

Also, Ben & Jerry's has an ice cream flavor named after good ol' Willie, and it's made of peach cobbler, shortbread cookies, and cinnamon.
I mean, shee-it.
No matter how famous or accomplished I become in my life, I doubt that I will ever reach that level of cool.
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For the people who are still alive....   
02:30am 08/12/2007
  While we're speaking of Orange Box.

Rule 34 on Gordon Freeman and Alyx FTW!!!!

Crazy robot-suit anti-gravity nerd action!

(Find it and win all internets!)
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I'm making a note here...   
02:21am 08/12/2007
  "Aperture Science: We do what we must, because we can"

No, I haven't been playing Portal. lately. But the motto above pretty much sums up my week. And the unspoken line that comes after it.

The funny thing is, I'm not really sure if I'm playing the part of GladOS or Chell. Or some unholy marriage of both.

But there's no use crying when there's science to do.

And besides, I hear there's cake at the end.

: D
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07:11pm 03/12/2007
  I've been waiting for a specific email from my doctor all day, and it hasn't come. The waiting is driving me quite mad.

Somebody email me, please. Say hi. Say anything to break the tension. Just give me something else to look forward to.

My email address is the first three letters of my first name, and all four letters of my last name, followed by @

Many thanks if any of you can help me out.
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10:39pm 01/12/2007
  The local library won't let me reserve books on line, so I'll have to trudge down there this week to do it in person. Through the snow.

It's only two blocks away, but still. Through the snow.


'hey look! I'm a sad girl in snow!*

*And I don't even read Megatokyo.
kill the rabbit, kill the rabbit...   
10:29pm 01/12/2007
  OK, I had no idea how big that 2x4 actually was. 2x4 what, exactly, I wanna know.
Excuse me while i go lie down for awhile. And then scream and babble and bawl incoherently until I run out of voice.

Also it snowed a lot today. Pretty, fluffy, perfect, dancing postcard snow. And mist.

I love the Pacific Northwest.
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01:29am 01/12/2007
  I am reminded today of one of my favorite theologian's descriptions of God, as a man named Jeff wielding a "cosmic 2 x 4" with which to smack us when we weren't paying attention.

In a good way.
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a precaution   
02:36am 29/11/2007
  Dear Friends,

As it is reaching the end of the month, and I am stone broke, I'm getting a lot of shall we say business calls of the unwelcome variety which I am attempting to ignore. And since collections people are cheeky buggers and call upwards of thirty times a day I have simply stopped answering my phone altogether.

It's not that I don't want to be a responsible citizen or pay my debts, it just that I lack the means to do so at the moment and so no amount of yelling or screaming or calling on their part is going to change my circumstances any faster, and so it's kind of a worthless endeavor on their part and i have no desire to be yelled at or threatened right now.

Although I have my phone turned off, it's still logging all of the calls that I get, and I check the call log frequently for familiar numbers. If anyone who reads this journal would like to speak with me, please send an email, or if you would like to talk on the phone, post your area code and the first three digits of your number in the comments field so I'll know who is calling and if it is ok to call back.

Thanks and much love.
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"She says nothing at all..."   
03:04am 19/09/2007
  "...but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes..."

So apparently there is a movie of Stardust out. By all accounts, it's quite good, a Princess Bride for a new generation people are calling it. I haven't seen it, and I'm still trying to wrap my mind around a film version of Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess' Stardust, which, in my mind, will always be a book.

And not just any book, but an oversized, dog-eared paperback given to me by dear friend, back in the day when books and songs still took my breath away and the long lonely hours of the night were spent pondering the worlds they wove.

I probably won't go see the movie in the theatre, as things are a bit tight right now and I don't really know when I'll be seeing any movies in the theatre again. And besides, since I moved to Seattle, I don't really have anyone close who would wait excitedly for weeks to go see a fantasy movie in the theatre with me. Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful friends, and they are certainly geeks, but the type of geeks who wave DSes instead of lighters at Jonathan Coultron concerts and who have more computers running at any given time than we have rooms in our house. Not the kind of friends who would, say, spend a Friday night pretending to be a vampire or reading books about absurd things like superheros or fairies. My Seattle beloveds are more prone to geekeries that challenge the imagination of the logical and scientific mind rather than the wild and poetic heart. They wouldn't have anything bad to say about Stardust, but I doubt that either of them would "get it" either, just like I really don't see the need to jump out of bed early like a kid on Christmas morning when a patch for my favorite version of Linux comes out.

But seriously, I had to dig out my old copy of Stardust to reread tonight, and it brought back so much. The dusty smell of my parent's old house. Reading by flashlight in the dark, with my ear pressed to my old tape player, listening to the heavy metal ballads of my teen years. And still, even after all the years, even when I'm an old bat and jaded by the world and my hormones have settled down considerably -  the last sentence with Yvaine standing on the highest tower of Stormhold makes me cry.

It feels strange, and lonely, to think that although so much else in my life has changed since that time, and yet, this hasn't. The stories that were important to me a decade ago or two decades ago still mean as much to me now, and knowing that there are other people out there who feel the same way is...well, it's beyond description...

More than once I've run into someone in a bookstore pouring over a copy of some book or comic that we both loved, and struck up a conversation that turned into tears and hugging and babbling over how amazing it was to find someone else who loved ___loved___this story because it had burrowed into their heart and taken root and they grew up with it. One of those times, the book in question was Stardust. It was that kind of dark-minded fairy tale.

So it's a little weird to think that half of America is going to go watch this thing and think of it as a movie with Michelle Pfeiffer and Claire Danes and somewhosit.

I hope it's at least as good as the Princess Bride.

And with that I say, if you are born to see strange sights, things impossible to see, than go and catch a falling star, and failing that, go and pick up A Romance Within The Realms of Faerie, or Stardust, and read the book, and watch the movie that plays out in your head, and tell me how that one is, and all the strange wonders that befell thee reading it, and failing that, go outside sometime, and like Yvaine, watch "the slow dance of the infinite stars".
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The list   
12:55am 01/09/2007
  The list of stuff I insist on doing as soon as I graduate and quit my current job gets longer, especially things I Must Do in the name of recreation (No pun intended when the SCA is involved)

But with the advent of Bioshock, I'm really screwed, 'cause this will also involve obtaining an XBOX360.

On my To Play list:

(some of these are unreleased)

The entire Silent Hill series. Again.
Shadow of the Colossus
The Zelda series (mostly Ocarina of Time, Windwaker, Majora's Mask, and Twilight Princess)
Eternal Darkness
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Grand Theft Auto IV
Bleach and Bleach: Shattered Blade
Guilty Gear (at least to develop a character I'm semi-decent with)
Rule of Rose
Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
TombRaider 1,2, and 3  (hey, what can I say, I never got to finish them the first time around...)
God of War 1 & 2
Cooking Mama!

FINALLY hit level 60 and start exploring endgame content in World of Warcraft (well, what WAS endgame content)

And that should keep me busy for awhile
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lol i can haz cheezburger now?   
11:13pm 27/07/2007

58% Affectionate, 25% Excitable, 35% Hungry

Protector of truth.

Slayer of darkness.


Longcat may seem like just a regular lengthy cat, but he is, in fact, looong. For proof, observe the longpic.

It is prophesized that Longcat and his archnemesis Tacgnol will battle for supremacy on Caturday. The outcome will change the face of the world, and indeed the very fabric of lolcatdom, forever.

Be grateful that the test has chosen you, and only you, to have this title.

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 42% on Affection
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 3% on Excitability
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 19% on Hunger
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 0% on Felinity
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Sorting Hat, I choose you!   
04:20am 23/07/2007
  OK, guys, join me in dorkitude and post your Hogwarts house affiliation! Use a helpful online quiz or just make a wild guess.  
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03:59am 23/07/2007
  (I tried posting a quiz result here with the crest of HufflePuff house on it, but the code I cut and pasted appears to be made of fail when it comes to lj. Use your imagination - badger on a  yellow and black background, etc.)

The House of HufflePuff! Using botany to defeat the forces of evil since 2007! And then we all partake of second breakfast, or maybe even elevensies if the evil was persistant. I'm a bit sad that the Huffles didn't get any spotlight in the series like the other houses, but not enought o be disapointed with the outcome. : )

To contrast, Gryffindor got all the photo-op friendly stuff to fight evil with, fairy-tale magic and enchanted swords and an endless supply of pure cockiness, while Ravenclaw confounds evil with really hard philosophy homework and SCIENCE! and detached amusement, and Slytherin doesn't so much defeat the forces of evil so much as talk them into highly uncomfortable contractual obligations benefiting Slytherin.

Precisely forty-eight hours after I procured a copy, forty-eight hours of doing nothing but reading, working , sleeping, and attending to the necessities of living such as eating and dressing while holding a book open under my nose, I've finished Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, the seventh and final book of the series.

And this one feels...epic. She couldn't have done better.

And that's all I have to say on the matter.

oh woops almost forgot except this SPOILERS

***************below. spoilers. kindof.***********************

Rowling has totally been ripping off  video games. Freaking misty purgatories and flayed ghost babies and spooky supernatural tentacle-snakes coming out of the necks of zombies...

Thanks, J.K.R. I just got over the nightmares I had the first time I saw that shit, playing Resident Evil 4 and the Silent Hill series. Now I won't sleep properly for weeks.

Also, I <3 "Sev" Snape.

 It's just a damn shame Alan Rickman is ancient and won't be able to play the young, cute version in the movie which will be approximately 17 HOURS LONG by the time they cover all the basic plot points.

But quite possibly, I don't <3 Snape as much as I <3 Neville, who is the nerdliest nerd to ever go a-nerding through the pages of a book, and still ends up getting to decapitate sh*t with a sparkly vorpal sword of DOOM and then goes right back to nerding.

Neville: "doot-da-doo...i likes plants...i am quiet and well-mannered...hey, what's this thing? whoa, nellie! I CAN CHOP OFF HEADS WITH THIS!"

Hermione: "...and then we need to come up with elaborate backup plan #493 to destroy Voldemort that doesn't actually involve fighting...hey, did anyone else just see Neville run by in a blur of flames and metal laying the smack down on our foes?...naw...couldn't be..."

Also: Ultimate moral of the story: Phear moms. Phear their 133+ skillz. Moms will pwn you.

(Especially moms who play Resident Evil. Your zombie armies are no match for them.)
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It's just a cat, from Cheshire...   
10:23pm 22/03/2007
  Today might have been one of the strangest days I've experienced so far.  
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the backwards meme   
12:16am 16/03/2007

Borrowed from



Comment here and I will

1) Tell you why I friended you.
2) Associate you with a song/movie.
3) Tell a random fact about you.
4) Tell my first memory of you.
5) Associate you with an animal/fruit.
6) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.

7) In return, you MUST spread this disease in your LJ.

That silly Queensryche. Writing songs about memes.

Comment away!

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Of infinite names, without a face...   
08:06am 08/03/2007
  So, last night my therapist and I got into a discussion on prayer and spiritual life.

And she asked rather eagerly if I would share my religious views with her.

"well" I said, "I'm a neopagan".

And she blinked at me for a minute and then smiled and said "What's that?"

After some more discussion, it became quite apparent that she really had no clue what on earth I was talking about.

That, I didn't expect. I was braced for everything from professional indifference to hostility to "blessed be, sister"!

But I never her expected her to just not have heard of it.

Then I had to figure out how to effectively explain the concept of henotheism and earth-centered spirituality in under two minutes. I failed miserably.

Heck I once had to write a college paper on henotheistic Native American religions for a religious studies course, and it was hard to sum it up clearly in twelve pages.

This worries me more than just about anything that could have come up in therapy. Because, at least if she had heard of it and had some kind of pre-existing opinion about it, whether or not she shared that opinion with me, would give me someplace to start in talking about it.

This is way more intimidating than any of the other options, because this being the first time that she has encountered a pagan, no doubt my words and actions as a believer/practitioner will contribute a great deal to her opinion of the religion as a whole.

So I'm thinking of putting together a little pamphlet, say 2-3 pages on the subject with quotes from my favorite wiccan/pagan authors , summing it up, with some examples of common ritual prayers.

At that point, I can just hand it off to her and tell her I hope it explains my chosen religion and my prayer life a little better, as well as the definition of neopaganism if she was curious. And then hope and pray that it makes a good impression.

I'll post the finished project on here before I give it to her.
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De-evolution, part 1.   
08:32pm 07/03/2007
  Just a few random observations.

At work they have this massive break room for the staff.  Cushy seating, booth tables, cable TV, a full kitchen, ping pong, computer get the idea.

Anyway, it's all decorated with oversized corporate motivational posters. You know the ones, bordered in black, that usually have impressive photographs of extreme sports athletes taking daring leaps in front of breathtaking nature scenes, or majestic looking animals in their natural habitat looking wise and strong, and at the bottom is an inspirational quote?

For some parodies of these posters, go here.

Each wall has a sort of theme, and most have have titles like "Success Above All" and  "Challenges" and "Being a Team Player". But in the middle of the wall I sit by is a series of three posters that are bigger than all the others, and they are all titled  "PRIORITIES"

Each one has a picture of a Father and his eight or nine year old son smiling together in a "bonding" pose.

Anice message...until you examine them more closely. In one picture, the dad is teaching his son how to play golf.
In the second picture, he's teaching him how to tie a necktie, and in the third picture, he's well, showing his son how to balance a budget on a desktop ledger, with a copy of Deepak Chopra's "The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success" laying on one side of the desk and his son's piggy bank sitting on the other.

If you didn't pick up on it from the first picture, I'll let you in on the real inspirational message of these picture: This kid's dad is a tool.

I'm all for teaching kids about fiscal responsibility and proper manners, but, come on. A little boy has the rest of his life to wear a necktie and and take out his frustrations on caddies when he has to pretend to lose to authority figures.

This eight year old shouldn't be worried about stock portfolios. He should be  worried about how many pop rock packets and cokes he can buy with his allowance and feed to his little sister on a dare. Eight year olds don't think neckties look sharp, they think T-shirts with Naruto on them look sharp.

So Priorities-driven Dad, why aren't you teaching your son how to play baseball in a muddy spring field, or build model rockets, or watching him in karate class or boy scouts? Isn't that kind of the whole point of being a dad and or a little boy, so you can do that stuff? There's all kinds of other important things you need to teach him about being a man anyway...ya know, manly duties like setting meat products on fire over the grill and how to make grunting sounds of approval when someone says the the words "It's got a hemi".

But no, alas, this is not to be. You are instead indoctrinating your son into the same brainwashing regimen that turned you and all the members of your suburban housing association into mindless drones a 'la Village of the Damned.
Jesus man, get a grip on yourself! Golf  shouldn't be an option for people under eighteen. Like cigarettes and sex, the age of consent exists as a legal barrier to protect young, confused, overly-enthusiastic people from having to make decisions they may regret deeply later, like the combination of highwater pastel pants and polo shirts.

Other discoveries made in the breakroom: Soap Operas.

The  employees like setting the Tivos to record and play their favorite soap operas throughout the day, the current favorite being "Passions".

I've only seen bits and pieces of two episodes now, but this is what I've seen of the plot so far:

A suave male model is attacked in a dark alley by a man with an eye patch and an unfashionable, bushy 1970's style mustache and sideburns. Mustache man has a knife. Model fights him off by showing him a tarot card, which causes the one-eyed attacker to fall to the ground in agony.

An old British lady uses her magical cauldron to discern the best deals on the Home Shopping Network.

Gorgeous blonde woman #1 accuses  gorgeous blonde woman #2 of drugging and raping her boyfriend, then drugging and raping gorgeous blonde woman #1 and planting boyfriend's DNA evidence on her to frame boyfriend for the rape.
Gorgeous blonde #2 points out some fatal flaw in this plan (which I didn't hear because the microwave was beeping), and instead offers the explanation that an unknown woman in a conspiratorial plot with boyfriend's evil twin brother who mysteriously disappeared decades ago drugged and raped gorgeous blonde #1, who would immediately acquit her boyfriend and suspect her hated rival, all in an effort to frame gorgeous blonde #2 for the rape of gorgeous blonde #1.

A brain surgeon (played by a former Miss America pageant winner) informs a promising young movie star that he is dying of an inoperable "face cancer" that will eventually destroy his rugged good looks. Meanwhile, his wife seeks solace in the arms of another man...who looks suspiciously like the aforementioned evil twin.

And a mysteriously masked figured, dressed in a black trenchcoat and red high heels and nicknamed "Hack the Ripper", leaves a trail of blood and email spam as she hacks into all the town's computers, leaving behind threatening, shoddily-animated mpeg files containing clues about her next murder victim.

Holy shit. This is what I've been missing by not watching daytime TV. Honestly, I'm impressed. It takes guts to write TV this bad.
Witches with online shopping addictions?
Male models armed with tarot cards?
(funny, mine don't scare away men with bad haircuts. Then again, I've never tried to use them for that particular purpose.)
A town of women who look like Barbie dolls raping and murdering each other?

It's like Dark Shadows as directed by John Waters. Damn. I should never watch this again. I might get addicted.

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